December 9, 2020
1 Leadership Thought
Let's face the truth: this year has been marked by a lot of anger in our world. Even now in this season as end-of-year deadlines for work projects creep closer, stress rises and you may feel the fires of anger beginning to burn more intensely. There's a temptation to take advantage of anger and use it to get things done, and to be sure, anger and intimidation can definitely get things done. In those moments, remember this:
Anything that can be done by anger can also be done by love.
Anger gets it done quicker.
Love gets it done better.
Choose better. (Share this on Twitter)
Here are two negative effects of using anger to get things done:
You sacrifice trust: Anger may get people to pay attention and do what you want, but they always trust you less afterwards. You end up sacrificing long-term team health for a short-term personal result.
You grow addicted: It feels good to get things done, especially getting things done fast. If you use anger to achieve this, it's like the first hit of a drug that you have to keep on taking. Soon, that burn of anger is a wildfire that you can no longer control.
Here are three ways to manage your anger:
Take up non-aggressive postures: Boxers getting ready to fight tuck their chins and raise their fists. Instead, open yourself up by leaning back, lifting your chin, and open up your palms up and outwards (even underneath the meeting table).
Love the person: Anger is just as passionate of an emotion as love. This can cause internal confusion in the moment. Remind yourself that the problem is with a project or a deadline. The person you're working with is not the problem, nor are they a project. See the value and dignity in your teammate and honor that.
Broaden your view: Chances are, the project or deadline you're working on won't make or break your company. Chances are, whatever topic of conversation doesn't make up the whole relationship. Remember this truth and relax. Work together with your team and make adjustments to solve a problem instead of having tunnel vision that causes you to fight against your own team.
1 Resource
Desmond Tutu on the self-interest of forgiveness
"Anger, resentment, lust for revenge, even success through aggressive competitiveness, are corrosive of this good. To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. What dehumanizes you inexorably dehumanizes me. It gives people resilience, enabling them to survive and emerge still human despite all efforts to dehumanize them."
Source: Desmond Tutu, No Future Without Forgiveness
1 Question
How have you reacted in the past that causes regret? How can you avoid that in the future?