February 17, 2021
1 Thought
When we think about the word "hospitality", we often conflate it with "entertaining". We think it means turning our home into a restaurant for an evening where we play host, waiter/waitress, chef, and customer alongside our guests. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Greek word for hospitality is “philoxenos". It's a warm embrace between “philos”, which means beloved or dear and “xenos”, which means foreigner or stranger.
Hospitality withheld is a cruel, deafening statement that you are not welcome. Nothing echoes the loveless absence of hospitality like the “no blacks” signs that were littered across restaurant doors during the Jim Crow era of legalized segregation.
On the other hand, hospitality extended lowers a person's walls and offers the opportunity for their very humanity to be put on display.
Hospitality is welcoming a beloved stranger and sending away new family.
You're not entertaining a guest.
You're not forming a social club.
You're not auditioning for HGTV.
Hospitality is an art where you uncover the dignity in another human being. (Share this on Twitter)
When we "entertain", we subtly communicate the message that we are better, that we don't need help, and that the other person is incapable of contributing to the way we do life. But with hospitality, we communicate that we are on equal terms, which is one of the most courageous expressions of love.
Here are three ways to show hospitality:
Get everybody involved in cooking and clean-up: We don't hesitate to ask family to help cook or to clean-up and food always tastes better when we've had a hand in its creation. Treat your guests like family by inviting them over earlier and asking them to help with preparing the food. You get to enjoy more conversation together and it's more fun that way anyways! (Honor COVID-19 protocols and employ wisdom)
Don't make your home look like a magazine cover: We're all a little messy and untidy–it's okay. Invite your guests into your real life, not a clean, tidy projection of your life.
Don't be afraid to initiate vulnerability: The start of a friendship is like a game of chicken with who's going to be "real" first. You don't have to spill your entire life story, but don't be afraid to talk about difficult relationships or frustrating circumstances. It shows that the other person doesn't have to bend over backwards to earn a basic level of trust with you.
1 Resource
Rosaria Butterfield on radically ordinary hospitality:
"Radically ordinary hospitality characterizes those who don’t fuss over different worldviews represented at the dinner table. The truly hospitable aren’t embarrassed to keep friendships with people who are different."
1 Question
What makes that person difficult to love? How can that change?